Dear Bob:
My mother-in-law saw a picture of you in the paper and called you,"someone who I would love to spend the rest of my life with". Since she thinks I'm everything that is wrong with men in America today and hasn't blessed our wedding, I told her that you are a personal friend and I could arrange a meeting. What would it cost for you to meet her for 10-15 minutes outside of the station, maybe a peck on the cheek, a short ride to the airport, quick flight to Florida, an overnight sleepover, a quick boating trip to Mexico, working 3 days out of the week in Key West adding your last night to hers....help me dawg

Dear Bob:
This World Cup thing is crap other than the babes. I got in a fist fight with my boss who is from Italy (dang I-ties). I told him if real men in the US didn't focus on football, American Football, not that pansy "futbol," we kick the spit out of them in soccer, too. What do you think?
Happy Hammer


Bob Writes:
Dear Happy Hammer,
I think soccer is a wonderful sport ... for the rest of the world.
BS

Dear Bob:
Do I remind you of a stick which some dog keeps bringing back to you dropping at your feet? Would you rather have the dog bury the stick or do you want to continue to beat me with your wicked criticism of my stories-most which are true?
Robert


Bob Writes:
Dear Robert,
You're more like a pit bull on an ankle. There's no shaking free of you.
BS

Dear Bob:
I also think you should run for office. Seriously, in another state, a long way from Minnesota.
Jon


Bob Writes:
Dear Jon,
Only if you agree to run my campaign.
BS

Dear Bob:
I hate myself, I'm fat, not funny and have now started to develop a chest which my wife says I should be wearing a size 32 bra. Should I end the marriage and move back to the safety, love and kindness of my mothers basement or just accept the fact that I remind everyone of what they don't want to be?
Robert


Bob Writes:
Dear Robert,
I know this: You're reminding me avoid your e-mails.
BS

Dear Bob:
There is an extremely attractive woman in my neighborhood that does yard work in a bikini. In an effort to get acquainted, I've used lines such as "I have a hose that might help", or "I can trim your bushes", and even "I work well with hoes". Do you think I need to be less subtle?
Jon


Bob Writes:
Dear Jon,
You are talking about a garden hose, a rose bush and a back hoe, right?
BS

Dear Bob:
Which would you rather be subjected to? a) Watch the NBA Finals; b) Watch Uruguay play Paraguay to a 0-0 tie in the World Cup; or c) Get kicked in the groin by a donkey.
Jon


Bob Writes:
Dear Jon,
I guess you didn't hear that all three things have happened to me in the last week.
BS